Affirmation: Clear Is Kind
This is monthly affirmations, a newsletter from founder Sonya Yu. Each month, she imparts a saying to incorporate into daily life so you can live in attunement with your most authentic self.
English is my second language. When I came to America at five years old, the linguistic part of my brain was still developing with my mother tongue of Chinese so when I was suddenly thrust into an American kindergarten, I’d stay in the classroom during recess, cry and point to the phone, asking to call my family.
“Dog it easy,” the teacher would say to me. Or at least that’s what I thought she was saying.
What does that mean? I’d wonder. There was so much I didn't understand.
“The teacher keeps saying, ‘dog it easy.’” I eventually told my parents. “What is she telling me?”
My parents, who had been in America for four years by then, looked at each other and scratched their heads, debating which colloquialism I could be confusing it with.
“I think she means, ‘take it easy,’” my dad finally said. “You know, like ‘relax.’”
My teacher was trying to give me tools to calm me down and empower me, but I didn't have the language to ask questions or reach for clarity — so I was confused and frustrated as a result.
I think about this moment a lot because how many times have we interacted with people, friends or family or lovers, trying to connect with them but because of a lack of clarity and curiosity and understanding there was always that fracture there?
At an early age, I learned the power of specificity and asking seemingly simple questions. If I didn't ask: What do you mean? What does that word mean? What does that word mean to you? I never could have empowered my learning, curiosity and power.
That’s what I mean by clear is kind.
By asking for clarity, you can show kindness to yourself. By showing kindness to yourself, you can extend that kindness to others. Going a step further, when we achieve clarity internally with ourselves, we can embody that externally. It’ll inspire our conversations and collaborations, allowing us to create work that we're proud of and feels in alignment with our authentic selves.
“Clear Is Kind” in Action
General principles
Ask questions: When you feel confused or unclear, voice that through inquiry. Keep questions short and simple. Direct them towards yourself or others.
Have the humility of a beginner's mindset: Be willing to show your lack of knowledge but also willing to engage with questioning. Let go of ego to educate yourself.
Clarity for the self
After exercising the above principles…
Determine wants and needs: Orient to yourself and gain internal clarity. Ask yourself: Why do I want to do this? Feel how your physical body responds to your questioning to align your mind and body.
Outline the plan: Now that you have clarity, determine: How am I going to go about it? Write down your goals. Make specific actions. Start small. Be consistent.
When you get into the practice of self-inquiry, that expands your ability to communicate and questions with others more effectively. Instead of assumptions or reactions, you’ll ask questions that help you formulate a response that isattuned to the situation and yourself. Clear is kind because when you are intentional with yourself, you can be intentional with others, the world andyour creative outputs.
XOS