Let Go & Flow

This is monthly affirmations, a newsletter from founder Sonya Yu. Each month, she imparts a saying to incorporate into daily life so you can live in attunement with your most authentic self. 

What happens in the absence of knowing? 

That’s the question I’ve been asking myself as the year ends, especially since new years are all about the unknown (what seems obvious would happen in 2023 wasn’t at all predictable last January), but more so because of matters of the heart. Love was my biggest teacher this past year. 

I stayed up many nights, uncertain about how someone felt about me. My impulse, of course, was to grasp for certainty; I read between every line. At some point, this drained me. I needed to make a decision: I could either walk away or sit in the discomfort of the unknown. 

In the absence of knowing, I had to let go and flow.

In that undefined space, I had to connect with that which I could control: myself and my feelings, my responses and my reactions. I had to learn to reframe and not give away my power. It’s the greatest practice I’ve done all year. 

Sitting in the discomfort of the unknown was the most beautiful gift because it forced me to give myself what I wanted from another person. I learned to understand how I was giving away my power by expecting someone else to give me the love only I could give myself. I learned to understand myself and the expectations I had from others. I had to pour into and fill up my own vessel.

This not-knowing practice applies to so much else. Be it work or school, friendship or health, it forces us to listen to ourselves, to practice gratitude and self-compassion. We learn to provide for ourselves. We learn to say to ourselves, “I love you, I got you.”

There’s freedom on the other side of embracing the unknown.

But it requires us not to judge. Instead of saying, “I should have known better,” now I tell myself: I did the best with the information I had at the time—and now I have more information to proceed accordingly. 

Instead of fearing failure, I know mistakes are magic. There’s no learning in winning, even if it’s painful to lose. Now I assess how I can reframe the situation from one of hardship to one of learning: I consider my framework of thinking, the conditions of the container that lead to that moment.

I look at things with compassionate curiosity, and feel empowered to examine and question myself and others without harshness. It’s a gentler way to live and move forward.  

What happens in the absence of knowing? It’s learning and love. But first you have to let go—not of your own power, but of needing safety, security, and certainty from others. I promise you can uncover all of those elements live within yourself.

XO S